We have all been there, in the typical “don’t tell anybody” situation, where person A tells person B a secret and specifies to not tell anybody, but person B doesn’t care and tells person C the secret and also specifies to not tell anybody and the chain keeps on going. I find it so ironic that people share information that they have been told not to share and when they do so they even tell the other person not to share the information. This has happened to be so many times that it’s come to the point where it’s funny. I have noticed through time that there are actually very few people I can truly trust and this has made me think; why is trust so important? Why do people share things they are told not to share?
Trust is the basis of all types of relationships and it is something that we all seek, even unconsciously. For example, when we were younger, our best friends are nothing less than the people that we most trust. It’s as simple as that. It’s that powerful trust between best friends that forms the strongest relationships, the happiest ones and the ones you have the most fun with. There is a saying that goes “You may not always trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust” and that's exactly the importance of trust. Many people confuse the meaning of trust and think it’s just a status where you can share your secret with someone and know it will be kept safe, but no, trust is much more complex and profound than just that. It’s when you can lower your guard, be vulnerable, open yourself, share and accept your weaknesses with another individual and you know that they will maturely respect you. Like everything in this world, there are times when this may or may not apply. For example, imagine that you meet a new person at school (or work) that will only stay there for a month and then he/she will go to another country. In situations like this one, when you meet someone that you know you will never see again in your life, then sometimes, we may not care to be vulnerable with them and share your weaknesses because they will soon disappear and you may not care what they think about you when they are gone. But what happens in another scenario, where this new person will stay there for life. Would you open to them so easily? Would you share your weaknesses? Once a person takes an important role in your life, it is more difficult to trust them because they know everything about you, they know your friends and family and you build a certain reputation with them. This is why, just sometimes, it is harder to trust the people closest to you. People are egocentric, that’s why they cannot keep things in private. When they know something that no one else does, they feel special and important and revealing things to other people brings them attention and self esteem. It’s what in Peru we call “chisme”, or gossip in english. As humans we need trust in order to grow as individuals, to mutually help each other through difficult times and, thus, form a better future. We need trust, and therefore we must each find the people that also trust us, be it your parents, brothers, friends, there must always be someone.
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Let's say that you are put in a physical resistance test which is measured by the amount of laps you can run around a track. Whatever the amount of laps you ran, you must then create a cardio plan for a month that will increase your physical resistance (amount of laps you are able to run) and you must then make a reflection about how your plan helped you increase your physical resistance. Sounds easy and simple, right? Not so fast, what if I also told you that you will be graded on your improvement and justification for such improvement? A very important element has now been added to the table, and although some people will interpret this in a straightforward and honest way, some others will "play the game", meaning, that the "honest" people will put all their best effort in the first physical test and then run the chance that they do worse in their final test, while the people who "play the game" will put very little effort in the first test and a lot of effort in the final test to guarantee a show of improvement and a successful plan. One might now think that it is very smart to play the game, because you put less effort and ensure successful results, but are you actually getting smarter?
Naturally, when we are given a heads up to what's coming in the near future, we prepare ourselves and analyse everything that must be done so that when that day comes, it goes by as smooth as possible. We prepare the conditions so that the end result comes to our convenience, and it is alright to do so, because it makes us have control over situations and be present in the moment. But what is not alright, is to prepare the conditions to where the take away is not the learning, but the grade or other reward. So yeah, it might be a "smart" move to play the game, but you are definitely NOT getting smarter. We have all played the game at least once. Not so long ago I found myself playing the game in different situations. The first example of the physical test was an actual legitimate example were I played the game. In design technology class I've also played the game by making errors to my first prototype in order to show how I have modified my final prototype in my evaluation. Playing the game can go from cleaning up your room just before your mom checks it, to doing community and service just for the credits. No matter the situation, I have come to realise that playing the game makes us nothing but fake. It's a bunch of lies we make ourselves which represent someone's forced actions, someone who isn't even yourself. It's the act that goes against being principled and honest, not only to others, but to yourself. At the end of the day, we can choose to play the game no matter the situation and it is up to us to think critically and ask ourselves: "Am I doing this for the learning or for a reward like a grade or to please someone?" If you are unsure of what you want, then just remember that learning stays with you for ever and a grade or someone's reaction is temporary. There are no shortcuts in life. |
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